7 Habbits of highly successful people

1.Make money
2.Make some more money
3.Make lots more money
4.Make even more money
5.Keep making money
6.Don't stop making money
7.Repeat steps 1 to 7

Definitions

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.


Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through 'the minds of either'


Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.


Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.


Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.


Father: A banker provided by nature.


Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.


Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.


Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.




Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.


Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.


Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.


Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death


You want to add some more?
Go on and write them in comments....

WRITE YOUR JAPANESE NAME

Please fill your name in Japanese (refer to table below) and write your name too to show how crazy it looks like.... and have fun.

PLEASE WRITE YOUR JAPANESE NAME IN THE COMMENTS... :)


A - ka


B - tu


C - mi


D - te


E - ku


F - lu


G - ji


H - ri


I - ki


J - zu


K - me


L - ta


M - rin


N - to


O -mo


P - no


Q - ke


R - shi


S - ari


T -chi


U - do


V - ru


W -mei


X - na


Y - fu


Z - zi
**** add your name to the list too if u want......... ...
1. Carmen - Mikashirinkuto
2. Ikenna - Kimekutotoka
3. Jane - Zukatoku
4. Noah - Tomokari (U can just call me 'Kari)
5. Gideon - Jikitekumoto
6. Chibuzo - Mirikitudozimo
7. Ansa - katoarika
8. Deborah-tekutumoshikari
9. Lazarus - Takazika
10. Adeola-Katekumotaka
11. Lekan - kikumekato
12. Uche- Domiriku
13. Enyinnaya - kutofutotokafuka (what a name indeed)
14. Chike--Mirikimeku
15. ISAAC...kiarikakami (just call me kami)
16. Mariam- Rinkashikikarin ( simply call KIKA)
17. Zusi-Zidoariki (Zido or Riki)
18. Kenneth - Mekutotokuchiri (hmmm.... I think i like kuchiri)
19. Juliet - Zudotakikuchi (Dot sounds cool)
20. Moji - Rinmozuki
21. Wale -Meikataku
22. Florence - lutamoshikutomiku (sounds like yoruba)
23. Benedict- Tukutokutekimichi
24. Sade - Arikateku
25. David - Tekarukite (just call me Tekarukite!)
26. Sachin - arikamirikito ....puuuffff finally done
:))
27. Pradeep - noshikatekukuno Wow starts with a No
and ends with one as well.
28. Anija - katokika
29. Rajendra - Shikazukutoteshika
30. Rahul - shikaridota
31. Ananth - katokatochiri
32. Vijay - Rukizukafu Looks funny haaaaaan!!!!!!!!
Rukizukafu .!.
33. Anitha- Katokichirika
34. Umesh- Dorinkuariri dooooooooooooooooooooooooo
35. Sheena - Aririkukutoka (Decide what u wanna call me)
36. Manu - Rinkatodo ( At last you 'Do' it....).
37.Pooja-Nomomozuka
38. Varun - Rukashidoto
39.Prathibha - noshikachirikiturika.. :)
40.Neena-tokukutoka
41. Lincy - Takitomifu
42. Binoy - Tukitomofu
43. Arun - Kashidoto
44. Cinchu - Mikitomirido
45.Sangeetha - arikatojikukuchirika
46.Rajeswari---Shikazukuarimeikashiki(Oh...wat a pity!!!!!)
47.Anu- Katoru
48.Yamini- fukarinkitoki
49. Dorinka Aririkatomekashi
50. Firdouse-lukishitemodoariku
51. Amala Manju karinkataka rinkatozudo
52. sherin -ariri kushi kito..
53. Rekha - Shikumerika....
54.Prabu-noshilutudo
55.Suganthi-aridojikatochiriki
56 subrahmanyam-aridotushikaririnfukarin
57 ashok - kaaririmome
58 yogesh-Fumojikuariri
58 Vivek --- Rukirukume ( i gess this is a hindi word )
59. Shamba - Aririkarintuka
60. Moumita -- rinmodorinkichika
61.Ashruto - kaaririshidochimo
62. Ayan - kafukato
63.Deepti- Tekukunoki
64. Fouzia - lumodozika
65. Yogesh- fumojikuariri (Yeh kya hai :))
66. Shailendra - aririkakitakutoteshika
67. Girish - jikishikiariri (Seems like some one is sneezing :) )
68.SANTANU-arikatochikatodo (it seems to do something... :))
69. Abhijeet-KaTuRiKiZuKuKuChi (Hows it??? :):):) )
70 VIshal - RUKIARIRIKATA ( Abe ye kya ho gaya re mere naam ko. :):)
71 Siddharth- ARIKITETERIKASHICHIRI
72 Anvita- katorukichika
73 Ranju-CHIKATOZUDO
74 Nidhi - tokiteriki
75 Mekhla - Rinkumeritaka
76 Neelabh - Tokukutakaturi
77. Prakhar(97513,Hydrabad)-Noshikarikashi
78. Varun(97694,Pune) - Rukashidoto
79. Akanksha(97232,Bangalore) - kamekatomearirika
80 Aditya - Katekichifuka
81 Akash (B'lore)- Kamekariri
82 Ankit- Katomekichi
83 Gaurav - jikadoshikaru (???? kahan ka shikar i- u ?????)
84 Suman ------ Arido Rinkato
85 Vinita -------- Ruki Tuki Chika( seems to be a name yet)
86 Anshul-------Katoari Ridota( hows that)
87 Divya-----------Tekirufuka(mast hai...:))
88.jayasree--------zukafukaarikuku \
89. Sai Pranavi--- Arika Noshikatokaruki :)
90 Anusha --- katodoaririka
91 RAGHUVEER - Shikajiridorukukushi
92. SUNITHA-----------ARIDOTOKI CHIRIKA (wht wud my nick name be.......
frm this?????? )
93.ARCHANA.............Kashimirikatoka
94.VIKRAM-----------rukimeshikarin
95.Poonam ............nomomotokarin
96.Feroz ali ...............lukushimozi kataki
97. Noel Benjamin ---- Tomokuta Tukutozukarimkito
98. Anusha --- katodoaririka
99.Fouzia - lumodozika
100. Yogesh- fumojikuariri
101.Gopinath - jimonoki tokachiri
102.krishna prasad- meshikiariritoka noshikaarikate
103. Akshay - ka-me-ari-ri-ka-fu
104. Amol- Karin mota

Pakistan Question Paper

PAKISTANI MATHS QUESTION PAPER







Instructions:




-----------------

i) Students found copying will be shot on the spot.

ii)Any student coming late after 10 minutes after the exam starts will be forced to join Al Qayda group.

iii)AK-47's and Grenades are not allowed in the exam hall. Students may keep their daggers, Revolvers and pack of anthrax bombs only for self defense.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Math Exam Time 3 hours Full Marks 100

All questions are compulsory.




1. Abdul was sent to jail for murder .He has 7 wives in his house.

Abdul distributed money to his wives in such a proportion that the youngest and most recent wife receives maximum and oldest wife gets minimum, and each wife gets double of her former competitor. Abdul has 1700 Rupaye left in his house. Abdul's oldest wife needs atleast 25 rupaye per month. Find out the time when Abdul will have to break Jail to come out and earn money so that his wives do not starve.




2. Karim is a Drug seller. Prices per gram of Marijuana, hasis, haroine and LHD s are 50, 60,70,80 Rupaye respectively. Karim offers a discount of Rupaye 20 for his buyers who buys more than 50 grams of drug. If Rahim , a buyer gets Rupaye 37 discount , find out the grams of LHD he bought.




3. Imran tampers the ball thrice per over. He deforms the ball .02% of its original shape each time . Find the percentage deformation the ball due to tampering in a one day series against India in which Imran bowled 9.3 overs.







4. Rauf has a Company named Al Allah Kidnapping & Murder Private Limited. He has to threat 10 people per day over Telephone. 40% of the people he threats are cinema stars in Mumbai, 30% are Businessman in Delhi, 20% are Cricket Players in Madras and 10% are shopkeepres in Calcutta . If ISD charges are rupaye 15, 25, 40, 50 per minute from Rauf's city Islamabad to Bombay, Delhi,Calcutta and Madras respectively and he gets a Telephone bill of 10,230 Rupaya in a month Find out The No of Cinema stars in Mumbai ,threatened in that particular month.




5. A terrorist group has to provide one Ak 47.one AK 49,one Rocket Launcher, 50 Grenades and one pack of RDX to its Ron roots for training.One AK 47 costs 100$; One Ak 49 costs 150 $,A Bazuka rocket Launcher costs 250 $ , grenade is 3 $ each, a pack of Rdx Bomb attached with remote Control is 500 $.

The terrorist group admits 2000 new people every year out of which 30 % are court-martialed. Find the amt of Foreign Money Pakistan Govt has to provide each year to run such a group.




6. If stabilty of democratic Govt. in pakistan is given by the following equation X exp3 +X exp2 -16 = i, where the notations have their usual meaning; Find out x.




7. Probaliblity of a Pakistani prime minister to be shot is 78 %.

Probabilty of a Military general to be shot is 80% .

Find the joint probability of a Prime minister to be shot who is also a Military general.




8) Find out geometrically the area of Paktunistaan using PI Theorem with Osama BIn Ladens Correction (That is taking the value of PI = 786 instead of 3.14....), if Paktunistaan is taken as a heptagon.




9) A 'GHAURI' missile tries to fly from Drass to Kargil which is not too far from Drass (say 100 miles) and is exactly to the East of Drass . The wind is blowing from the South and the speed of the wind is exactly equal to the speed of the airplane. (The speed of the airplane is measured with respect to the air!) The pilot decides to steer straight to Kargil all the time during the flight.

Will the airplane ever reach Kargil ? What if the speed of the wind is k times the speed of the airplane, where k is a positive number (can be greater or less than 1)? Try to sketch the trajectory of the airplane (with respect to the ground, of course) in each of the three cases:

k=1, k1 and k<1.







10) Briefly discuss the Unsolved problem of "Bisection of a Triangle" with a Compass and an unmarked ruler if the triangle is named as KASHMIR

TWISTERS

Here are a few tongue twisters for you.Try to read them aloud as fast as you can :)

1. If you understand, say "understand" . If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!

2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.

3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.


4. A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.

5. Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People

6. If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?


7. I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.

8. Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"

9. Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to Mr Outside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. Mr Outside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.


10. SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES


11. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.

12. If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?

"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"

13. We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.

14. Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.


15. A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue

16. If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.


17. Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.

Doctor Certified

Doctor Certified

Certified that Mr. /Miss _________________, working in your organization, is suffering from 'time-bound' illness. Due to this, he will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day and 5 days a week. Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to severe health problems. The losses to the company due to medical reimbursements will be far more compared to the gains made by stretching beyond 8 hours.

It is also warned to keep my patient away from any kind of shocking news such as " Come over weekend..", " Let's work on holiday..", " Leave cannot be granted. ." etc. which can directly lead to heart strokes.

In view of the above, it is strongly recommended to adjust your deadlines in accordance with the convenience of my patient.

Sd/-

Dr. Impatient

Cyber Clinic

HOW WONDERFUL TO KNOW

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A snail can sleep for three years.

A duck's quake can't echo.

Al Capones's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

All the State names are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An average American, in his whole life, will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' 'level' and "Malayalam" are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes) .

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous" tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order "abstemious" and "facetious."

There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur. So do Zebras.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one periterrow of the keyboard.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself.